I'm super happy.
My doctor finally gave the permission to stop chemo. I had told her that it didn't seem to do me any good. I felt worse and my body was ruined, and moreover my appetite went overboard that I was often so devoid of energy to do even the simplest things like waking up in the morning. The aches worsened and I felt like my body's thermostat didn't function properly. I could wake up feeling so hot in the middle of the night or shiver like a beaver in the middle of the day. Moreover, the paperwork and the beaureaucracy to do before getting medication is so disheartening that I often went to the hospital feeling already beaten and bruised.
On my last chemo, my body had rejected it so much that it took longer to insert the needle and I was in pain the whole time the medication was in. There was just too many negative energy and I wasn't looking forward to my next visit.
I explained everything in detail to her earlier tonight and she agreed to discuss another form of therapy. I had some ideas in my mind but already I was feeling so much more positive.
The good thing about having this disease is that it teaches me to sort things in my life that are good for me, that help me heals and give my health a good boost. And that includes cutting away people who keep giving me bad vibes, make me feel worthless and dispensable (although I know I am, but I don't like to be reminded all the time), and to surround myself with people who radiate love and warmth and support.
Those are the most important things in life. If you have these people in your life, make sure you tell them that they are precious and never take them for granted.
