Monday 23 December 2013

Year-end Contemplation

"Insanity is doing the same thing again and again expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

Last night the teachers of the music school where I work gave amazing performance to 20 people in a hall seated for 250 people. I was so proud to work with them. But then I was also quite upset because only 2 of the school's students came to watch their teachers. Moreover, people missed great performance and it really drove me nuts because a few days back, a friend of mine told me that he just attended an awful concert full of famous musicians who came on stage unprepared. The house was full. These musicians seems to pass with flying colours. Their Facebook walls were full of praising comments from people who clearly thought they were fabulous. 

It doesn't make sense for me at all. Are people here really that stupid that they just can't tell good or bad? Will it always be like this in this country, that you have to raise a cult of admirers to get a good number of audience? Will we have to forever depend on our own community so tickets will sell? And what if we have unloyal one such as the community in the school? (It is obvious, now). Is raising an educated audience a utopia? 

It just hits me harder how difficult it is now to get people to come to a concert hall in Bandung. I'm on the brink of frustation here. I realised that Bandung doesn't really have a true classical music aficionado, who will go to concerts come rain or shine, who understand that ticket price should of course exceeds movie, and who come for the sake of music itself and not to serve some individuals who happen to be their friends. We're competing with so many things. Exam dates. Weather. Traffic. Parking lots. Price tags of many other goods. Basic necessities such as food and clothing. Other concerts in other genres. Shopping malls and cafes. And adding the real cost like publicity, venue rental and technician's overtime, it's just too much cost to bring only 20 people. And the notoriously modest and humble musicians of the city are no help either. Many seem to be uncomfortable or shy when they're asked to invite people to come to their own concerts. Some would just publish it on their Facebook walls, hoping that some random people will see it and be moved to come. 

So, with basically nothing to rely on, isn't it just a perpetual insanity to do this? Why should I go on? Because it's important? To whom? To the musicians who play? But with no one watches, wouldn't it be the same as practising at home? We might as well do an open rehearsal thing. The cost as well as responsibility will be minuscule. And no one loses anything. 

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Love & Misadventure

Every girl who is in love or healing a broken heart should have this book. The poems speak about womanly feeling through adventure in losing and finding love and they represent sentiments most woman would have. I love them so much that I will do a music & poem recital next year on Valentine's day. It'll be quite exciting!



Monday 16 December 2013

All Kinds of Love

I remembered one love I've lost years ago. It was my first, it was short, but it was real. When it had to end, I didn't understand why and for years I was questioning why it didn't last, but now I understand that it takes more than love to make a relationship work. 

My BFF asked me today if I had forgotten the guy I was in love with. I told him there's never a day passed without my thinking of him. But it doesn't mean that I'm not happy and that I'm gonna keep waiting for him. It's easier to move on once I understand. And I know now that I can be happy with another. I want to be, and I will be. 

Sometimes we think that not living with the ideal makes our life less meaningful. In some cases it's true, but I think when it comes to love, it's true that we accept the love we think we deserve. Any kind of love. When we're open, there are so much love in this world to make us happy that we really shouldn't worry if we'll live a lonely and sad life without one particular love. We just have to keep giving it in order to receive it. 

Keep loving, folks. It'll come back bigger and better. 



Sunday 8 December 2013

Hallelujah!

My internet connection's back. 

I've been browsing, up- and downloading, e-mailing and facebooking from my smart phone and I hated the experience. Seriously. And blogging from your phone is absurd. So I haven't been writing for almost 2 months now. Bugger. 

I'm continuing my French lesson and my teacher suggested that I should start a blog en francais...mais oui! Very tempting; I might try it someday, but sometimes when I have ideas in the head, looking back and forth to the dictionary maybe a bit annoying. But for the sake of progress, I will probably give it a go. Next year. 

The year end comes so fast...it's sometimes felt surreal that time goes by so quickly. I started planning for next year's projects and I've got tons of ideas in mind which makes it hard to sleep at night. But I'm thoroughly enjoying the whole programming process and it's so exciting to bring ideas to stage and see them transformed into shows. 

Next year I gotta see to it as well that my own personal project doesn't suffer. 

Gosh. So happy to be able to write again. But sleep now, otherwise vertigo will relapse. 

Bonne nuit, tout le monde.