Birds of the Same Flock...

..fly together.

Like attracts like. A few years back, a lady approached me and offered me to do a project and although some good friends warn me about her, I thought there's nothing to lose so I took the project. It turned out to be rather a disaster and at the end of everything I was left with a lot of  anger and dissatisfaction. It was the case where Maya Angelou was right. I didn't remember what she said exactly, nor what she did, but I did remember how she made me feel. And she made me feel awful.

About last year I also terminated a long-term cooperation with an organisation in the community because I seriously doubted their integrity. At first I didn't believe that they have work ethics at all, and then it was proven to me that this organisation isn't capable of handing business professionally. After one incident I lost trust in them completely. 

The funny thing is, I heard they are both working together on several projects now. How they manage to do that, only Heaven knows. I wish them the best of luck, knowing who they really are. But I guess it's true. You will end up with people you deserve. 

And I am so glad and grateful that the people I have around me are those I think highly of, who never take me for granted. 

Decisions, decisions.

I had this feeling that this year's going to be awesome. 

I'm enjoying where I am right now. I"m loving people I hang out with, who give me a good balance between work and play and motivate me to get better in what I do and support all my efforts, and I feel like I'm able to focus on things I love. I'm reading tons of books and poems, refreshing my French and retaking singing, while still playing chamber music. So much consolation for a difficult time I have in teaching. 

Thinking back to years before I get to stand where I am today, it wasn't always easy. But I have decided early on that I want my life to be always connected to art. I think somewhere in my early 20s I feel that I am most happy when I'm surrounded by it. And I guess I always dream to be in this position for so long that I somehow arrive. Of course, my course still continues but I am in the right track.

What I know now is that in order to get happiness from doing what you love and loving what you do, you have to decide on it. People say that your talent will guide you to your path, but I see that many people with specific talents choose a career that has absolutely nothing to do with their gifts. Some don't realise that they have them, but some know that choosing some profession require a great deal of work and they are simply not willing to do that (even though their talent will provide a good means for good accomplishment) that they choose something less demanding. It's valid. The most important thing is, if you want to be happy, you have to make a conscious decision and live through it. People who just "go with the flow" are rarely ecstatic and passionate about their jobs. They will find happiness in something else. 

I watch a documentary about Louise Bourgeois the other night. A young artist with a troubled soul came to see her to seek for advice. When Louise asked what happened to her, the young artist answered, "I find it difficult to express what I'm feeling." Then Louise asked again, "What are you feeling?" And surprisingly to me, she said "I want to show people how tormented I am as an artist." Then Louise say, "then you should not become an artist. To do what you love should not torment you, because it's a privilege."

I am so glad that years ago I have made a right decision. I know I don't possess the greatest talent on earth, but I also know that I have the right to access them without restriction. And I am privileged now to be able to be close to music and art and literature every single day of my life.