Respect

Respect is earned. 

You can't asked people to respect you. With  some oppression, people may be expected to respect you, but true respect comes when you practise what you preach. When you do your duties and obligations first before claiming your rights. When you stay true to your words. 

The society is changing nowadays, which makes it harder, especially for a man, to earn respect. Back in my grandparents' era, all his kids would never dream of answering back whenever he said something. He was the law, the law reinforcer, and the punisher of outlaws. But then, he was the sole breadwinner of the family. He worked his ass off to feed 7 children and a wife and did a great job fulfilling their needs.

These days, men demands the same respect from their wives and offspring but when you're not the only person earning an income in the family, you gotta work harder to earn the respect you need. Sometimes men forget, but we women still appreciate men who go up there and fix the light bulb. And even though many women can buy their own cars and wash them, it just feels right when a man go out there and wash them. Or when your neighbours park their stupid car in front or your garage and makes you late for work, it's really nice when your man talk to them and fix the problem. 

Many men think they must do something big to earn respect. But sometimes the little things they do every day count more than one blast that happens once every year. I think the majority of women, despite the mumbo jumbo about emancipation, still wants their men to be supportive, protective, strong (both in character and physic) and most of all, dependable. When the man of the house do this, they will the respect they deserve, no matter who brings home more bacon. 

PS: I found this blog about respect which is worth reading. The picture above is taken from the blog.  

Baby Steps

No, this is not about Rafa. But this has something to do with tennis. 

After every grand slam match, winners are interviewed by a host and asked about their game or sometimes trivial questions which made the audience laugh. What I notice is that almost all of them, when asked what their plan was to beat their opponents, said that there's no plan at all. They always "try to take point by point."

Sometimes we make anticipation far, far ahead and filled ourselves with so much anxiety over things which might  happen in the future. Sometime the future is much too far for our eyes to see, but the worries cripple us from enjoying the journey in the present. 

It's good to make a plan ahead. But it's best not to make it too distant to where we are living right now. And many times it's good to make small plans for the near future, and follow it day to day, minute to minute, or point to point, like all world-class tennis players. After all, we can't even be sure if we'll wake up tomorrow. 

Delizie contente

I LOVE to wake up to a rainy morning, and go to bed when it's pouring rain outside. Now it's raining on the other side of my window that I just had to wake up and turn my computer on again to write this. 

Source: http://ngil2.tumblr.com/

Joyful delights can be found in small, insignificant things which we thought trivial. And the happiest people on earth are those who can find happiness in these little delights, every single day.    

Let's be happy!

One of my star students has been driving me nuts for the past six months. 

He's super quick at left-brain stuffs, so reading notes and solving rhythmic problems used to be his forte, but lately he came to lesson with so many wrong notes and bad counting. When your kids start sonata, this kind of mistake will make you pull your hair out. 

I found out that since he started junior high, his school discovered that he's a genius (by IQ), and so they put him in a so called "acceleration class", which means that he will save a year in junior high and another year in senior high, and ready to go to university by the time he's 16. His parents were so proud and asked me to make allowances because his life now is all about school, school, school. 

I don't get this, really.

Why do people so concern over being successful now than being happy? So this boy may be a genius, but is his education more important than his happy childhood? He's only 11 now, and instead of being confined in class with books, he should be able to play football and keep a hamster or whatever. It doesn't last long, and he will spend most of his adolescent and adult life struggling to survive, either among his peers and later to get jobs and become a CEO, and it's tough and hard and tiring and sometimes depressing, so why does he have to start that earlier? Nothing will guarantee the future. We always have the possibility of not seeing the sun tomorrow, so if we all have a chance to be happy now, why not do it? 

And what really is the measurement of success? It's always different in each and every individuals, and it will always be defined by two. First ourselves, second other people. Who's right? Nobody cares. People may see you as a failure, but as long as you get a good impression about yourself, you're happy. And that's what really matters. As I said before, life is an ocean of illusion, and by the time you're 40, you don't need to really know whether you've made it or not. You just need to feel good about yourself. 

To be an Entrepreneur

This one is reblogged from CNN's Laurie Segall in Facebook. Some lines have been omitted. 

"To be an entrepreneur.

To be told "no" on a regular basis. To fight an uphill battle, to fall constantly.

Entrepreneurship is tough. There is constant failure.

Some of the greatest rewards come with the greatest risks, and often times those risks end in epic failure.

Not as many people talk about that. They don't talk about the moments when you're alone in your head, battling your worst enemy.

Often times we talk about huge wins, happy endings. Dark moments don't always make it into print.

Some of the most successful entrepreneurs battle with the greatest demons. Having the ability to change the world, to disrupt the status quo, isn't something to take lightly.

The people that do this are far from normal. It takes a thread of intensity that not everyone has and sometimes that intensity can do more harm than help.

To have all the ingredients to change the world, to have already made a huge dent, and to see the demons win, isn't fair.

For those of us who live in extremes - extreme success, extreme failure, for those of us who are harder on ourselves than any critic and sometimes have trouble getting out of the dark, I say this - as dark as the world can be, it can be that light. As bad as it can be, it can be that good.

We aren't always defined by our successes, it's often our failures that makes us fight harder, see clearer.

Choosing to be an entrepreneur requires a respectful degree of insanity.

For those who are going through a tough time, I hope you know you're not alone. The world is much better with your crazy ideas, your passion, and your ability to hack the status quo.

Don't forget that."

The Audacity of Hope

Obama's "Hope" campaign by Frank Shepard Fairey

The title of this post is borrowed from  Obama's book, but this one is actually about Pandora and her box. Many only knows that Pandora, who is bestowed  with all sorts of beauty which made her a wonder to behold, is gods' curse for men. When she was given to Epimetheus as bride, the gods gave her a box filled by evil things, personally hand-picked by each and every one of them, to make men's life full of sorrow and regrets. As curiosity got the better of her, she opened the box and all hell broke loose. 

What many people don't know is that there is one good thing left in that box . It's hope. 

A lot of people are scared of trying something new because they are afraid that they would open their own personal Pandora's box. I wish they know the rest of the story. Even in great misfortune, we can always find comfort.

Hope is powerful. Stendhal once said, "a very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." And love is magical. 

Humanity

What is going on with human species?

Lately I've been reading or watching or accidentally coming across a story of human cruelty which sent shivers all over my body (one story was so horribly graphic it made me vomit and gave me nightmares for a couple of days). Tonight I watched "The World without Ends" which portrayed the tyranny of English lords and nobles in the 14th century which made me think: what is wrong with people?

Animals will hunt only for food. And once their hunger is satisfied, they will leave their pray. But mankind, with brains which are capable of thinking, can sometime act more than animals. They can think of super mean things to do to other people and they can use all ways possible to get what they want.

Sometimes I'm afraid of losing my faith in humanity. But babies born every minute are proof that God are not yet tired of us.

(C) Frank Shepard Fairey

I probably must ditch TV altogether.  Except Sesame Street.

Illusion

This is the story of my friend. 

She sat in front of me, defending herself, saying how those good friends of her betray her. A few days before, the same good friends she was talking about told their side of story to me, saying how badly she treated them (and everybody) and with a sigh concluded, "that's why she doesn't have any close friend."

As she poured her misery, I was thinking. Life is an ocean of illusion. What we think about things or  people are not always the truth or the fact, and what we perceive as mutual consent may not be mutual at all. Same goes to friendship. My friend would be devastated if the friends she assumed were her best never thought of her the same way. 

That's why it's good to train our instinct to recognize what is real. When we see it, we must hang on to it, and never take it for granted. 

First Resolution

Source: http://writerscentre.ie/blog/

I watched "Finding Forrester" earlier today and found my first resolution of the year: to write as much and as often as I can. Write first, think later. That's how you become a writer. First draft of everything must always be done with your gut. After that you do it with your brain. 

Plato on Love

Poets often talk of Eros (more widely known by his Roman name, Cupid) but Plato the philosopher made a lovely description of Eros and his brother Anteros (literally means "love returned"), who many times doesn' t put into a love story.

Marble sculpture of Eros and Anteros by François-Joseph LeClercq (1755-1826)

"Love - Eros - makes his home in men's hearts, but not in every heart, for where there is hardness he departs. His greatest glory is that he cannot do wrong nor allow it; force never comes near him. For all men serve him of their own free will. And he whom Love touches not walks in darkness.

Anteros is given to his brother, Eros, who was lonely, because love must be answered if it is to prosper. It is the result of a great love for another person. The lover, inspired by beauty, is filled with divine love and filling the soul of the loved one with love in return. As a result, the loved one falls in love with the lover, though the love is only spoken of as friendship. They experience pain when the two are apart, and relief when they are together."

Perspective

I went to a violin recital last night. On stage was an aged lady (I'm guessing around 60) who used to be Jascha Heifetz's ex assistant/confidante/pupil. Yes, the Heifetz. I was excited about going to this recital (that I cut short my already-short vacation by a day) because I was hoping to hear some Heifetzian way of playing, live. 

The recital turned out to be quite, well, surreal. The violinist, who happened to be a pianist as well, decided to accompany herself and since you can't play two instruments at the same time, she pre-recorded herself on the piano. When she announced this I didn't quite know what to expect. Well, disaster happened when, after she named her program for the night, the disc apparently had a mind of its own and decided to happily jump track. So she didn't open the recital with Elgar's Salut d'Amour as planned, but with Tchaikovsky's Melody. All of us, audience and the artist, ended up guessing what the next piece would be. Fun!

On general, her playing wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was quite fine, despite some unsynchronized playing in some parts (which, I imagine, will be difficult even if you're playing with yourself, especially if you play Romantic pieces with rubato!). But what bothers me the most is how this lady seems to be more keen in presenting the fact that she was the one Heifetz turned to in times of troubles, and how her life has been so much enriched by this proximity, and other balderdash she had done in the name of Heifetz except showing off his influence in music-making. 

It must be difficult to stay on perspective when you're that close to such a huge figure. But the only way to get the best out of every situation is by keeping a healthy outlook on something or someone. Successful people normally become big because of what they do, not who they are, and most of the time, when you take their attributes, they are like all of us who eat, sleep, and get wet and curse you when you throw them a bucket of water. To admire them for their genius and other worldly attainments is normal, but to go beyond that is mental. In the case of humble Heifetz (as this lady told us), I think he would like it best when his pupils go around the world continuing his legacy, in that one thing he loved the most, which is music.