On Love

Source: www.amazon.co.uk

    "I'm not afraid of beatings or blood anymore. I'm not afraid of guards or guillotines.

     There is only one thing I fear now--love.

     For I have seen it and I have felt it and I know that it is love, not death, that undoes us."

(Jennifer Donnelly in Revolution) 

Cycle of Hope

Gartner's Cycle of Hype

I just got this graph from Seth Godin which explains technology marketing (here's a link to that if you want to read it yourself). When I saw that, I immediately identify that with my situation, only I would like to think of it as "cycle of hope."

In my case, when I first started concert managing, I wasn't triggered by any technology. Instead, I was missing so much of good, high quality music and inspiring musicians and I think at some point God answered my longing by sending European Camerata to Bandung. I got the project. It was a huge success. There were 700+ people at the concert hall, and that pushed me to think that Bandung is indeed a promising land for classical music. So I was triggered by hope. 

During the first 2 years, I went to the peak of expectations, but afterward, I went down the slope. After 5 years, I'm through with the disillusionment. Classical music, in my opinion, is one of the highest form of art. And to really be able to understand, enjoy and embrace it, you need the best of people to produce it, and the best of people to accept it. I have to be honest, good musicians are not enough. During 5 years I've met very, very good musicians with amazing talents, yet only very few can inspire. It's not easy. And when artists fail to touch the hearts of their listeners, it's not easy to convince them to come to the next show. 

Of course, local concert-goers here are not the best, most loyal friends, either. Rainy day, difficulty in finding parking space, hot and humid auditorium will stop them from coming. Ticket price must never exceed price for movie + popcorn, otherwise I'm out of competition. There are so many things to think of when you're not dealing with classical music hooligans. 

Now, after 5 years, there I am, at the bottom of the slope, and waiting for an enlightenment so I can climb up and restart productivity. And that is my cycle of hope. Like everything else in life, I'll lose it, but time will give back things that are missing in our life. Until that silver lining appears, I will enjoy my day under the cloud with my books, my music, my family and friends. 

A Thank-You Note

I was uploading hundreds of pictures from last year's festival which I organized and there's one single picture that brought tears of joy in my eyes. It's this one:

(C) Eunike Wulandari (www.eunikewulandari.tumblr.com)

People in that picture are quite special. They're my greatest supporters over the years, and they're the ones that make this path less solitary. I can always count on them for help and when times are tough, they're there to tell me that I'm doing fine. 

And I'm so grateful for them in my life.

Blue Monday

Today's supposed to be the most depressing day for a lot of people all over the world. Type "blue monday" on Google and it will tell you why. For me, today is quite depressing because at one point during the day, I realize that I'm missing good company. 

I woke up feeling all right, did some chores and my usual things, then went to hang out with some good friends. After 5 minutes I knew it wasn't a good day to go out at all because I felt so uninspired, bored, annoyed and when I get that feeling, I shut down. Not a great material for a chat. On my way home, I realize that I'm missing a good conversation. And somehow it makes me realize that one of the most interesting aspect in inviting overseas artists is the exchange of thoughts we have when we spend time together around a concert. 

I think if my fellow Indonesians read this they will hate me and tell me to go to hell with my stuck up nose, but I don't mean to say that foreigners are more interesting. There is something stimulating and different about talking to new people with different culture and background, to see the world from their point of view, and to discover that in some things, we are all basically the same and share the same feelings. All of these makes a conversation more exciting. And what's nice with people you've just met is that no one dares to take anyone for granted, and that creates a mutual respect, something which is, a lot of time, often forgotten when we're among good friends. 

The good thing is, I quite know how to be with myself and at times like this, it would be best for me to be alone. In my youth I would blame the friends I have for being so trivial, but there's really no one to blame. So today I'm going to hold that Blue Monday syndrome accountable for this trashy mood I have and hope for a better day tomorrow.  

Indeed.

www.piccsy.com

Beautiful, simple, little thing.

www.piccsy.com

Am so happy...

www.piccsy.com

... just by looking at them. 

On January First

www.piccsy.com

It's very strange. The beginning of a new year is always special, even if you don't make special celebration for it, like I did. (I went to bed with my niece at 10 pm last night, and woke up when my nephew and his friends, who happened to have a special celebration, were shouting with joy when the fireworks began to light the night sky of a small, industrial city called Karawang.) We have so many calendars, and so we have all kinds of New Years, but the one based on Christ's birth is always quite particular. I've never heard of people making a resolution on Chinese New Year, and as a Moslem, I have never stayed up to light a candle on Islamic New Year. So in a way, it's an international folly, a silly worldwide conspiracy to make 1 January a fresh start for everything. 

Of course, some people think it's just another day which happens to be a global public holiday, so they don't make any special commitments to the day that follows. Life's still more or less the same, except that you have to buy new calendars and try to remember to write new numbers on a note or correspondence. Some carried their bad habits forward, never realizing that they're bad, and live with the bliss of their own ignorance. Some make the change they feel necessary, or feel the necessity to change, but abandon the execution. Either way, we all go through day by day in the new year with our own baggage, and try to get to the end of it in one piece. 

For me personally, 2011 were quite exceptional, with so many emotional turbulent, and in a way it has given me an ample time and space to grow. I can say that I am grateful for everything that came my way, good or bad, and I am proud to say that I did have my way in almost everything.

All's well that ends well! I hope that all of you can say the same things and with that, I wish you all a wonderful time ahead!