It's over. My third music camp marked the end of another life cycle. I got the job done, and now a new beginning is waiting, with its own challenges and contrasts. I've got my paradoxes already, but I have time to deal with it.
Anyway, the end of a season always brought the contemplative side in me. And there are always so many lessons to be taken and thoughts to be remembered, and I think this is the best thing I can be grateful for when I chose to follow my bliss.
The first and foremost thing I learned from the past 3 weeks is that life is pretty fair. When somebody or something lets you down, there will be somebody or something else that will make up for it. When one of my sponsors cancelled his support at the beginning of June, I was already imagining losing all my savings AND eyeing some six digits number on my credit card bill with agony. So I asked friends to donate for the kids (to whom the donation will go), at the same time doubting whether they would care. But apparently they do. I've got some really great friends who obviously respect my efforts and they readily contributed. In fact, the heartwarming feeling beats all the disappointment. It still didn't save my saving, but at least I'm starting with zero, not negative.
I also learn this week that I didn't get something I've been praying for for the last couple of months. Like all human, I had a good cry. But afterward, I thought about all those rojects lining up for the season and about those wonderful people I will meet (and meet again, like, for example, the DSQ), and I finally have the conviction that the next episode could be great indeed. I might be gaining some new experiences, working in the French cultural center and managing my first international camp (i.e. if and when I get the deal)... I already imagine that there'll be a lot of things to do this year, and that in itself, is a huge comfort.
The second good thing I learned is to put trust in people. My mum always raised me to trust no one but myself, and sometimes, many times, in fact, I have difficulty in letting go. However, I found out that when you give trust to people, at least normal ones, they tend to want to prove that they are worthy of such honour. And they will do their best not to let you down.
In the end, all these experiences always tell me something more about myself. I know now that I always have a great capacity in loving, and no matter how hurt I am, this love will always put everything back in place and make me dare to hope for better days again. I think I have become the ultimate optimist, a thing I acquired by following my lonesome path. And in this life with its ups and downs, I don't think it's such a bad thing at all.
