Same old, same old.
Each year since the first music camp, this happens: I promote the camp, wait until the deadline is over, find that I have only too few string players to make a workable camp, burn my midnight oil to get more participants, then do the camp, and end up with everybody happy and all my savings gone.
I don't know how the brains of all string players in Indonesia work, but I know that there is not a single wire connected between the word "investment" and "education". They just don't understand the concept of investing money for their education, or in another word, for themselves. When it comes to money, they either connect it to "expenses" or "stuffs", meaning it either goes into thin air like food or movie or into tangible materials like mobile phones and laptops. Or instruments. It's so hilarious to see a string player who walk with transcendental pride after acquiring new violin or cello. And it's even more hilarious when they actually play it.
It seems so stupid and crazy. Every year, I feel like grabbing an invisible megaphone and shouting to them that education is important because without it they will go round and round in circles of ignorance and never move forward. Sure they'll be getting money, but it's because God is good and kind and generous and not because they are good in what they do. But no matter how loud I shout, how often and how rude, not much has changed for the past 3 years. I'm still struggling. The funny thing is, it wasn't even for my sake.
And every year, they have this same old cliché for not coming to the camp: it's the money. They never have enough money. And every time I'm tempted to correct them. They never have enough money for their education. But for a bicycle, an 800-dollar mountain bike, they do. For a 900-dollar laptop, they can spare and spend. But never for the process of acquiring a soft-skill which could actually take them places. But they don't care.
And I don't think anybody care. Each year I open the camp for free to string players who might want to see how things are working out, but nobody show up. Nobody even curious. Perhaps my idealistic view of a perfect string player with perfect intonation is too much, too nice, too soon. Before everything they should change their way of thinking first.
I just visited my BFF's blog. There he wrote a line from the Bible which has influenced him so much: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." I wish I can do that right now. At the moment, I don't even pray any more. I'm too tired to do anything. This year's could be the last camp. Too bad, but what's the point of helping people who do not want to help themselves? It's probably time to help myself. After this I can save my savings and do it for my own education. Now if there's something I can learn from them, it's this thing: I can learn not to care.
