(A poem by Emily Jane Brontë)
HOPE was but a timid friend;
She sat without the grated den,
Watching how my fate would tend,
Even as selfish-hearted men.
Four years ago, I met someone who stirred something in my heart. I wasn't fully recovered from a heartache at the moment, and there was never anyone who was capable of stirring anything inside of me, until he came. We spent time together for a short 3 days, and then he left me.
She was cruel in her fear;
Through the bars, one dreary day,
I looked out to see her there,
And she turned her face away!
After he's gone, my mind started wondering, and asking questions. There's something about him that makes me feel again. But then I was too scared to want to know more. So I waited, and watched over him from a distance. In the meantime, hope quietly built a castle in my soul.
Like a false guard, false watch keeping,
Still, in strife, she whispered peace;
She would sing while I was weeping;
If I listened, she would cease.
Six months after he left, I wrote a list of 100 things I want in a man. I didn't know him that much, but the list was probably things I expect to have from him. I kept that list, and waited. One, two, three, four years have passed. Hope grew stronger.
False she was, and unrelenting;
When my last joys strewed the ground,
Even Sorrow saw, repenting,
Those sad relics scattered round;
Until one day life handed me over the chance to see him again. This time I got to spend more time with him, to know him better, and to be assured that the four-years-waiting was worthwhile. He fulfils 99 items on my list, and with divine intervention, he'll match all 100. So I tell him how I feel, and wait some more.
Hope, whose whisper would have given
Balm to all my frenzied pain,
Stretched her wings, and soared to heaven,
Went, and ne'er returned again !
I can't choose the one I love. I just do. But so can't he. And now, since hope has abandoned me, I will hang on to prayer. It changes things, so I've heard. It helps you grant your wish. People often remind me to be careful with what I wish for, but I won't be scared. Not after all this. I've waited for him for four years, and I will not give up now.
