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| Lake Tegel, my favorite place in Berlin. (C) Ulla Hennig |
It was the best of times, it was the worst of time, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - ...
(Charles Dickens, Tale of Two Cities)
And that, is to sum up my gap year in Berlin.
God knows how many times I recalled my Berlin memories. Sometimes it was with childish fondness, sometimes with bitter resentment, and not rarely with some melancholia. I learned a lot, maybe the most compared to the rest of 24 years I've had spent before that time, and I was not the same person after the experience. There were huge losses, but looking back from where I stand right now, God always, always gives more. Even with what we've lost, we still end up with many.
But recently God gave me back one precious thing I lost in Berlin: a friendship.
A lot of places can be interesting and lovely and wonderful for what it is. The physical side of a city can capture your mind for some time, like building facades in Paris which mesmerize me so much, or the great big trees in my hometown, Bandung, which never cease to give warm feelings in my heart. But without people, important, meaningful people you come to know and care about in those places, they can quickly lose their charms. And Berlin was not easy to forget simply because I met some people who really changed my life.
One of them is a Japanese guy whom I came to know through a friend. It was funny. Yoshi, so this is his name, and I hope he won't kill me if he found out that I put his name in my blog, wasn't the center of my attention at that time because he didn't really play a key role in the relationship I had. But nevertheless, we began friendship which were getting stronger and I found myself spending most of my time with him. Everything about my life in Berlin was still a huge question mark by then. There were so many uncertainties, so many inconsistencies, but our friendship was the one thing that was certain and consistent, even to my last minute in the city.
However, something happened after I went back home, and because of something I did, our friendship went to pieces. I didn't think it was reparable, but the earthquake in Japan proved it wrong.
At the moment I saw news flash on telly about the tsunami, my mind went to him right away, and unthinkingly I went to my computer and sent him an e-mail, asking if he and his family were fine. I didn't expect him to reply, knowing that after our last "quarrel", he might not want to have anything to do with me again, so I crossed my fingers and prayed that he's still out there and read my message, even if he didn't want to answer it.
Two weeks after that letter was sent, on one lovely Monday morning, I got his e-mail. After five years of silence, he spoke back to me. It was short, concise, no nonsense. Very Yoshi-like. He was fine, his mum was living far from the exposed area, and his close friends were in safe place. I was so happy I began crying. The relief was immense. Not only because he was unharmed, but also because I knew that our friendship has recovered.
Looking back, my Berlin period was, indeed, one of the most difficult time in my life. But he was with me, all the way, and without him, I might have not survived the grief. In dog days, you need one well that supplies you with water so you don't die of thirst. Our friendship was that well, that one source that kept me going for another day, even to this day. I was grateful, and still am. God was kind. He might have tested me, but I was never left alone.
À Yoshi: je sais qu’il a besoin de 2 personnes pour "approuver" une amitié, mais ceci ce que je sais certaînement: je n’ai pas besoin de ton approbation pour dire que tu es mon meilleur ami.
