Experience

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Last week I had a conversation about being a piano teacher with a pianist friend, Toru, and he asked if I already gave up entirely the chance of becoming a pianist, which means here, a performer. 

I said I didn't know, but it was hard to start again because I had a lot of years off as a solo performer, and although I still play chamber music, it's just isn't the same. My nerve just couldn't stand it. 

He said it was just about experience. 

Experience. 

Now that I come to think of it, I realize how very true this is. 

Knowledge and science can fill your brain with so many things, can make you look smart on other people's eyes, can grant you a pass to any written exams, but it won't teach you anything much about the real stuff. Only experience can make you really live life as it is. And once you get that, it can teach you more. Much more. I can try to find out all I need to know about Brahms from books and Wikipedia, read his letters and everything else I need, but until I play his music I wouldn't know what Brahms really is all about. I can teach my students about how not to get nervous on stage, I can tell them what to think whenever they have memory lapses, but until they go up there and do it themselves, they will never know how to cope with concert situations. 

And anyone can quote as many love poems as they can, but it won't be the same as experiencing being in love in the first hand.

In fact, a lot of life's most difficult challenge can only be overcome by experience alone.  

Which makes me realize, that I have to stop slacking and start collecting more experience. I have to find a teacher again. 

Thank you, Toru. :-)