I just got back from a year-end concert at the school where I work. It was tiring. I stood by at the hall since 10 am this morning and got back home at 10 pm. Besides seeing my kids perform and wishing them well, I had to play a piece myself, the first movement of Beethoven sonata for violin and piano.
It was my first concert after years of not performing. I always loves being around a stage except to be ON it. (The best part of it I most love is, of course, the back of it. I find it to be an uncomparably comfortable work of place.) But I had trainings in classical piano for more than 20 years and sometimes this other occupation forced me to be on it, like it or not. I must say that most of the times, I dreaded being there.
Except tonight.
I was playing with a young violinist from out of town, named Shienny. She was very good, and very keen. This program we did started as an impromptu. Since she plans to move to Bandung, I asked her to open a class at the music school, and as an introductory step, she was invited to play at this students concert. The good thing was that she asked me to collaborate in this Beethoven “Spring” sonata, which I’m also doing with my violin teacher. What began as casual learning turned to be serious, and the next thing I knew was that we were rehearsing two days ago.
With some (Indonesian) musicians, there is sometime this restriction on “commenting” or “advising” our partners’ manner in music-making, thanks to our polite and reserve upbringing, but with Shienny and I, we are both very open with what we want and what we don’t want, and we can communicate that without annoying each other. And I think we discover great happiness in doing that which affects our playing.
Our performance tonight was probably the best one in my life (and that’s why my adrenaline level is still high and I still am writing this blog). Of course, mistakes happened, but they were something I didn’t regret nor cursed. And most strangely, there was this comfortable feeling when I walked to the center of stage and faced the audience. I could see their faces clearly, I felt my feet on the ground, my heart was beating about twice faster but my fingers were hot and my mind’s alert. The best thing that happened tonight was that when we started to play, I was able to fully concentrate on the music. And that’s the first time I ever had that feeling in years!
I think I might have found my partner in chamber music. Like a partner in life, this person is someone whose words you understand although they don’t speak it, whose act you anticipate that you know when to react, and the one that brings out the best in you.
(Imported old blog, originally written on December 20, 2008)
