Life is just a chance to grow a soul. (A. Powell Davies)
I’m expanding.
In the most fundamental way, which is…, well, physically.
Every time I go to my dress-maker to have some piece of clothing made, he took my measurements. He once said that I’m one of those people who has a body of “water, it always changes.” And so he never bothers to keep a record of my sizes because it’s a pretty useless thing to do.
However, for the past couple of months, I (and he, much to my annoyance) realized that the water in me kept increasing in volume. Last month he took a measurement of my hip and looked somehow perplexed. Then he quickly turned back the pages of his tailoring book and showed me the measurement he took in July and said, with an expression of mixed concern and disbelief, “Wow, you’re getting really big.” I composedly replied the remarks by saying, “Yeah, I added about 7 kilos” although inside, I was seething and ashamed. Then he thought for a while before saying, “Well then, you better buy extra half-meter for the gown.”
I really couldn’t recall how or what made my body weight took off to a good 50+ kilos. And it happened very, very quickly: only in 3 months. I knew I wasn’t as stressed out as last year, but my workloads have remained the same and in fact, it’s increasing. I’m not a binge-eater and I don’t go eating out as much as I used to in the past. However, in just three months my old jeans refused to fit me in and now it’s hanging miserably on my wardrobe, waiting for me to go back in shape.
Another funny thing is, my shoe size also moved up, although not as rapid as my waist size, but which occurrence has made me give away some of my still lovely shoes because they started to bite my feet. I’m quite amazed with this phenomena, actually. I was wondering if some of the fat I managed to gain have made it’s way into may toes, but all this time in my history of weight gain, my legs and feet are among those who always succeeded in staying slim.
Also one weird things accompanying all this changes is my skin burst out. Just when I thought that things couldn’t get any worse, my hypersensitive, allergy-bound skin refused to take any form of make-up, from the basest one like moisturizer, not to mention the heavy one like liquid foundation or compact powder. It used to be very happy with a sun block with SPF 30, but at one point, it wanted more. I’m still finding out what it needs and how to stop it from being so cranky at this moment, and believe me, for such a skin like mine, it’s no walk in the park.
Anyway, fuelled by my curiosity, I began to Google things and found out that scientifically, a woman’s body changes every decade. I guess it’s not just gimmicks from cosmetics company when they say that they have products for every age group. When I turned 30 last May, a friend of mine already advised a good night cream to fight early signs of wrinkles. (At that time I brushed off and laughed at the idea, but now I’m beginning to consider that). Also, since woman at 30 is expected to carry babies, our bodies are enlarged and equipped (one of them with fat) to prepare the coming of mini versions of ourselves. In my case, since no babies are coming, I must put up with the equipments. Tough.
I consulted my mum who confirmed this. Then she said, “I know you’re not mentally 30, but you’re biologically 30, and you can’t fight that.”
Now come to think of it, I’ve decided that I’m not going to fight my biological change and enjoying it instead. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to start finding a good night cream and enroll myself in the nearest gym. But I suppose life is somehow always fair in the end, in a way that when something is taken from you, you’ll get something else in return. So in exchange for a supple skin and slimmer thigh, I feel two strong and profound things by the time I’m turning 30. The first was a greater love for what I do and for people in my life, the second more gratitude towards everything, even to the most fundamental things like my mum’s cooking, which is heavenly, to loud knocks on my door every Saturday morning when my nephew and my niece try to wake me up for a card game. These two feelings are just unbeatable and they have radically changed the way I view things in life, made everything so much simpler and saved me a lot of waking hours (yes, I sleep better now, too). I also learned that it is scientifically proven that a woman’s intelligence (rated by IQ number) is increasing every decade (and after they have babies). So in the overall, I can say that I’m generally fatter now but I’m also happier, and maybe smarter. Yeah.
Dedicated to my best friends: Deananda Sudjiono & Mira Josephine who just turned 30 this year, and to Evirita Riauwati who will soon be following our steps, with the hope that they will enjoy their 30s as much I will.
I’m expanding.
In the most fundamental way, which is…, well, physically.
Every time I go to my dress-maker to have some piece of clothing made, he took my measurements. He once said that I’m one of those people who has a body of “water, it always changes.” And so he never bothers to keep a record of my sizes because it’s a pretty useless thing to do.
However, for the past couple of months, I (and he, much to my annoyance) realized that the water in me kept increasing in volume. Last month he took a measurement of my hip and looked somehow perplexed. Then he quickly turned back the pages of his tailoring book and showed me the measurement he took in July and said, with an expression of mixed concern and disbelief, “Wow, you’re getting really big.” I composedly replied the remarks by saying, “Yeah, I added about 7 kilos” although inside, I was seething and ashamed. Then he thought for a while before saying, “Well then, you better buy extra half-meter for the gown.”
I really couldn’t recall how or what made my body weight took off to a good 50+ kilos. And it happened very, very quickly: only in 3 months. I knew I wasn’t as stressed out as last year, but my workloads have remained the same and in fact, it’s increasing. I’m not a binge-eater and I don’t go eating out as much as I used to in the past. However, in just three months my old jeans refused to fit me in and now it’s hanging miserably on my wardrobe, waiting for me to go back in shape.
Another funny thing is, my shoe size also moved up, although not as rapid as my waist size, but which occurrence has made me give away some of my still lovely shoes because they started to bite my feet. I’m quite amazed with this phenomena, actually. I was wondering if some of the fat I managed to gain have made it’s way into may toes, but all this time in my history of weight gain, my legs and feet are among those who always succeeded in staying slim.
Also one weird things accompanying all this changes is my skin burst out. Just when I thought that things couldn’t get any worse, my hypersensitive, allergy-bound skin refused to take any form of make-up, from the basest one like moisturizer, not to mention the heavy one like liquid foundation or compact powder. It used to be very happy with a sun block with SPF 30, but at one point, it wanted more. I’m still finding out what it needs and how to stop it from being so cranky at this moment, and believe me, for such a skin like mine, it’s no walk in the park.
Anyway, fuelled by my curiosity, I began to Google things and found out that scientifically, a woman’s body changes every decade. I guess it’s not just gimmicks from cosmetics company when they say that they have products for every age group. When I turned 30 last May, a friend of mine already advised a good night cream to fight early signs of wrinkles. (At that time I brushed off and laughed at the idea, but now I’m beginning to consider that). Also, since woman at 30 is expected to carry babies, our bodies are enlarged and equipped (one of them with fat) to prepare the coming of mini versions of ourselves. In my case, since no babies are coming, I must put up with the equipments. Tough.
I consulted my mum who confirmed this. Then she said, “I know you’re not mentally 30, but you’re biologically 30, and you can’t fight that.”
Now come to think of it, I’ve decided that I’m not going to fight my biological change and enjoying it instead. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to start finding a good night cream and enroll myself in the nearest gym. But I suppose life is somehow always fair in the end, in a way that when something is taken from you, you’ll get something else in return. So in exchange for a supple skin and slimmer thigh, I feel two strong and profound things by the time I’m turning 30. The first was a greater love for what I do and for people in my life, the second more gratitude towards everything, even to the most fundamental things like my mum’s cooking, which is heavenly, to loud knocks on my door every Saturday morning when my nephew and my niece try to wake me up for a card game. These two feelings are just unbeatable and they have radically changed the way I view things in life, made everything so much simpler and saved me a lot of waking hours (yes, I sleep better now, too). I also learned that it is scientifically proven that a woman’s intelligence (rated by IQ number) is increasing every decade (and after they have babies). So in the overall, I can say that I’m generally fatter now but I’m also happier, and maybe smarter. Yeah.
Dedicated to my best friends: Deananda Sudjiono & Mira Josephine who just turned 30 this year, and to Evirita Riauwati who will soon be following our steps, with the hope that they will enjoy their 30s as much I will.
